Father
Charles,
My fiancé is Jewish and I am Greek Orthodox. We are of
the understanding that we cannot be married in an Orthodox Church,
because of her religion. I love this woman with all my heart,
we’re soul mates to an extent. What should I do? Is there
anybody that could marry us and have a ceremony that is Greek
Orthodox, even outside of a church? Also, I want to know if there
is any way that I can remain in good standing with the church
if I marry her and she does not convert. And finally, given the
increased numbers of interreligious marriages that Orthodox faithful
are entering, I heard that some theologians have called for a
reexamination of the Orthodox Church's pastoral guidelines for
marriages! Has anything happened to this date?
An E-mail Respondent
Dear e-mail
respondent:
I pray that this information will help you better understand the
Orthodox Church's position regarding interreligious marriages.
Should you have additional questions or observations, please write
back.
Marriage
From an Orthodox Perspective
From an Orthodox
perspective, marriage is a lifestyle that facilitates both partners'
religious and spiritual journey. It also serves to cultivate their
future children's religious and spiritual development. For these
reasons, for centuries Orthodox Canon Law discouraged intermarriage
of any type. Moreover, Orthodox faithful who chose to intermarry
forfeited their sacramental privileges.
Inter-Christian
Marriages
With the increase
of inter-Christian marriages around the world in the late 19th
century, a large part of the Orthodox Church (which includes the
Greek Orthodox Church of America) determined to modify its position
regarding these types of marriages. As long as a couple was willing
to meet the following conditions, Orthodox Christians could remain
in good standing with their Church.
Finally, even
though the Orthodox Church believed that these couples would encounter
many additional challenges, it decided to modify its position
because it also believed that inter-Christian partner's belief
systems are sufficiently compatible to permit individual, couple
and family religious and spiritual growth.
Interreligious
Marriages
Conversely,
the Orthodox Church continues to hold to a more jaundiced view
of interreligious marriage. It believes that the differences between
both partners’ belief systems preclude individual, couple
and family religious and spiritual development. As a result, it
continues to discourage its faithful from entering interreligious
marriages. Orthodox Christians who decide to enter an interreligious
marriage (a) will be unable to wed in the Orthodox Church, and
(b) lose their sacramental privileges.
In light of
the growing numbers of interreligious marriages that Orthodox
faithful are entering, some Orthodox theologians have called for
a reexamination of the Church's position regarding this issue.
To date, nothing substantive has been done to address this subject.
However, if the numbers of interreligious marriages continue to
grow, I suspect this issue will command more of the Church's attention
in the future.
Individual
Spouse’s and Couple's Response
When interreligious
engaged spouses and couples have obtained the above information,
here are some of their typical reactions.
Many have reported experiencing some initial confusion, distress
and anger. These emotions have compelled a substantial number
to seek more information. While many will ultimately disagree
with what they find, their efforts will assist them in obtaining
a clearer understanding of the consequences of their choices.
A few couples
have postponed their wedding date in an effort to reexamine their
decision to enter an interreligious marriage. In these cases,
some non-Orthodox partner’s have chosen to consider conversion.
Some Orthodox
Christian partners have determined to attend the Divine Liturgy
without participating in the sacraments. Many of these individuals
have also determined to baptize their children in the Orthodox
Church.
Others have
left the Church. Many of these individuals continue to identify
with their ethnic background, but no longer actively practice
their Orthodox faith.
A few have
chosen to write their Bishop for additional clarification and
guidance.
You shall
remain in my prayers.
God bless
you,
Fr. Charles Joanides
